Have you ever been alone before? Not alone in the sense that nobody is with you, alone as in the only person who truly gets you is you. A tension that makes you hesitate before doing things your peers are doing, that type of alone. While Paideia is founded on principles such as freedom, expression and diversity, during my time at the school I’ve learned that there is a difference between feeling included and feeling like you actually belong.
“Not having a lot of people who look like me makes you feel ostracized, really alone, and like everybody is looking at you,” says Izzy Alexander ’27. “When you walk into a classroom, you’re learning, and you look around just to see that there is no one that looks like you. It makes you really self aware and embarrassed; it shouldn’t.”
This statement profoundly stood out to me. Hearing the words “ostracized” and “embarrassed” when talking about how it feels to be yourself prompted a sense of sadness in me. Suddenly, I found myself trying to remember times when I could relate; although I haven’t had that exact experience, the words still hit like a ton of bricks. I questioned whether it was worth it to be at a school that makes you feel that way. I asked Alexander, if she had the knowledge of how her high school experience would go at Paideia when she was considering transferring, would she still have come? She answered, “I definitely wouldn’t have chosen not to come.” Later Alexander went on to remark on how she had learned useful lessons and said that, “Overall, I had a good experience here.” However, those other two comments definitely stuck with me the most, like leaving a bad taste in your mouth. Similarly, Tristan Mitchell ’27 and Jose Cordova ’27 shared that they feel that minorities do not have the privilege to do or say things others who are not minorities can, because of a feeling of judgment or exclusivity, which is a sentiment I definitely relate to.
However, not all minority experiences at Paideia are entirely negative. Kedar Basseveraju ’28, Carter Nguyen ’28 and Layla Rhone ’28 shared sentiments of community and belonging. “It doesn’t feel crazy different, I don’t feel like I don’t belong,” Basseveraju says.
Ngyuen states, “You don’t have to conform to anything, people don’t look at you for who you are on the outside, they look at you for who you are on the inside here.”
Rhone shared the importance of finding your crowd as there are, in fact, people here for you. “I’ve met a lot of great people and it’s a good environment,” Rhone says.
The experience of being a minority at school is certainly a unique one. Even with just five people, there is clearly a spectrum of experiences, with the good, the bad and the ugly all included. Interestingly, there was one belief shared by every interviewee: you must know yourself in order to thrive in a school like Paideia. What you’re taught at home, your cultural lessons and pride, is a strong enough foundation to carry you through any and all obstacles of being a minority, not only in school, but in any space. In my opinion, that is more powerful than any challenging influence or feeling that a minority experience may bring.
